I Will Always Love You
by thelegendofappa
Summary: He never thought that he would lose her. He never thought that she would leave.


AN: _Howrra, because I have this theory that Korra and Howl were a thing when they were teenagers and Howl was Korra's first boyfriend. And just for the sake of this fic, pretend that Howl didn't get sent to Air Temple Island to protect Korra when she left for Republic City._

_And I got the "Howl you're such a dork" line from this adorable comic by masterarrowhead._

She came to him in the night.

Howl was standing in the guard tower, his eyes struggling to stay open. He needed to stay awake, just until dawn broke, then his shift would be over…

His mind was determined, but his body was dead set on getting some shut-eye. Howl shook his head. He_needed_ to stay awake. If the White Lotus leader found him sleeping during his shift, he would be in more trouble than the time he was a guard-in-training and had been caught talking with Korra in her bedroom past midnight.

If he just stayed awake, then he could go to bed, and when he woke up, his second shift would start. That was his favorite shift because he got to watch Korra firebend.

She was stunning when she did firebending. Even though Korra was from the Water Tribe, her eyes danced with a burning inferno that refused to be put out. She spun in circles, kicked with her powerful legs and shaped the restless fire to her will.

And after her training, in the evening when everyone thought she was resting in her bedroom, she would sneak out to meet Howl in the watch tower, her eyes glittering with the glow of the moon, a smirk on her soft lips.

On this particular night, Howl was sitting down in a chair, facing the deserted compound grounds. He jiggled his leg up and down, fighting for consciousness. He played with his firebending a bit, just to give himself something to do.

But suddenly, he heard the familiar crunch of the snow under boots that signalled Korra's arrival. He heard her grunt and she appeared on a pillar of earth just outside the window of the watch tower.

Howl grinned widely. "Korra," he breathed, all thoughts of drowsiness forgotten.

But something was wrong. Her intense blue eyes didn't have their usual sparkle to them. The corners of her mouth were turned downwards and her eyebrows had a little crease in them that Howl secretly found adorable.

Korra climbed through the open watch tower window. Howl stood up and cupped her face, lifting her chin to look him in the eyes.

"What's wrong?" Howl whispered, brushing a stray hair from her eyes. Korra looked at him, her eyes shining with the beginnings of tears.

"H-Howl," Korra muttered. "I'm leaving." Howl furrowed his brow.

"What do you mean? You just got here." Howl asked, confused. Korra shook her head, the tears quickly pooling in her eyes.

"No, you don't understand." Korra whispered painfully, a lump in her throat. "I'm leaving the compound, forever. I'm not coming back. I'm going to Republic City to learn airbending."

Howl's insides twisted, as if an earthbender had just sent a boulder to his gut.

Howl's hand dropped from her cheek. What did she mean she was leaving? This was obviously a prank of hers. She would make Howl panic and freak out, but then she would laugh,_ Howl, you're such a dork. _He would blush, and she would kiss him and everything would be okay again.

But something in her face told Howl that this _wasn't_ a joke. Korra really was leaving a never coming back.

Korra blinked furiously, fighting to keep the tears from falling.

"Howl? Howl, say something, _please_." her lower lip trembled. "Don't be mad at me." Howl pulled her close, resting his chin on her head and breathing in her scent.

"I could never be mad at you, Korra." Howl mumbled into her dark brown hair. His heart felt like someone had pulled the plug that made it beat, and now it was just cold. Empty. _Dead_.

But he knew that if he begged her to stay (which was all he wanted to do at the moment) it would make it that much harder for her. She would cry, and Howl didn't want that. All he wanted was for her to be happy.

"I need to find my path as the Avatar," Korra explained in a soft voice. "I can't stay here in this compound. I need to live with the people I'm meant to protect. Please understand that, Howl."

Howl nodded into her shoulder. "I do. And I'm proud of you for being so brave."

Korra pulled away from him enough to reach up, take off his helmet, and kiss him. He held the back of her neck, kissing her back passionately. All the things he couldn't say aloud he poured into the kiss. How much he would miss her, how badly he wanted her to stay, how much he loved her and wanted to never let her go.

He could make her stay. He could report her to the Order of the White Lotus leader, and he would make sure she would never leave. But Howl knew that if he did, Korra would hate him forever. She would be the opposite of happy. She would be upset and trapped in a place she hated. And all that mattered was her happiness.

They both ran out of breath and pulled apart. Tears were streaming freely from Korra's eyes, making little rivers down her face. Howl brushed them away.

"Why are you crying?" Howl asked in a low voice. "This is what you want, right?" More tears streamed down Korra's face.

"It _is_ what I want, but…" Korra whispered. She sighed, leaning her head against Howl's chest as he held her tightly. "Not like this."

Howl exhaled deeply, wondering how he was going to survive with this dead, cold heart inside of him.

They held each other for a while, until Korra's polar bear dog whined from below the watch tower.

It took a great deal of effort, but Howl pulled away from Korra, gazing into her bright, azure eyes that lit up his life.

"You need to go." Howl spoke tersely, trying not to let his emotion show. Korra bit down on her lower lip, trying not to start the waterworks again. Howl managed a small, weak smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"It's okay," he lied. "I'll be fine." He needed to be strong, for her sake. He need to not be selfish with her. Because that's what you do when you love someone, right? You let them go.

Korra sniffed, averting her gaze from him.

"Howl, you're a terrible liar." she stated, seeing straight through him.

Korra stood on her tip toes and kissed Howl chastely on the lips. She embraced him, holding him so tightly that it hurt. He hugged her back, knowing that at some point he would have to let go.

And they did. Korra quickly turned away, brushing a tear from her eye.

"Goodbye Howl," she spoke softly, as if talking about someone who had passed away. "You were my first love, and I'll always love you."

Howl stared at the back of her head, wanting so badly for this goodbye to be over. For him, goodbyes were long, drawn out and painful. He just wanted her to be gone.

"You'll get over me soon enough." Howl spoke, hoping that this was less painful for her that it was for him. Korra shook her head solemnly, and he thought that he saw a shining tear fall to the ground.

"Howl, you're such a _dork_."

And with that, she jumped out the watch tower and onto her descending pillar of earth. Howl stood there like a rock, not really knowing what to do. It seemed like his stone cold heart had stopped pumping blood to his brain, so he couldn't function anymore.

He watched her hop onto Naga and ride off the Order of the White grounds.

By dawn everyone would have discovered her absence. The guards would be furious.

But Howl wouldn't be sad, or angry.

Just be empty.


End file.
